Is teaching for me?

It’s almost midnight. And I’m lying in bed just thinking about my past four years.

So just a warning. I have absolutely no idea where this blog post is going, since it will literally just be me blogging at 12am, I probably won’t even edit this, and will just post it.

I moved to Florida about 4 years ago. Actually, originally I worked at Disney and then I got a teaching job. That’s when I decided to stay for a while. The past few years have been a roller coaster ride for sure.

I wasn’t quite sure where this would go, but let’s talk about that thing called a job. So I started teaching fifth grade when I moved to Florida. And I absolutely hated it. I was only about 22 or 23, but the kids treated me horribly. That year, I thought I was done. I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt like a failure and worthless. But I remembered that everybody has a rough first year. But I still have several notes from my kids that year, saying how much they appreciated me and that I had made a difference in their lives. That’s really what teaching is about anyways right? About making a difference in others lives?

The next couple of years I taught younger children. I taught second grade and then kindergarten and absolutely fell in love with it. I realized that working with children is something that I wanted to do. I realized this was for me. Watching the amount of growth a child makes from the beginning of the year to the end of the year is absolutely amazing.

This year however was a little different. This was my fourth year of teaching but probably my most challenging. You probably wonder how could things get worst with more experience? Well this past year I was challenged in ways I’ve never been before. Just a reminder I taught kindergarteners. These kids were absolutely amazing, very sweet, but boy did they challenge me. Weekly fights, kids swearing at each other, bullying, and just being down right nasty. Never in a million years did I think this would be happening in kindergarten. Well, I worked day in and day out, with parents, students, admin, and my coworkers to figure something out. It was middle of March, last day before spring break, and we made all kinds of plans to have a successful rest of the school year. I stayed a little longer on that last day. Arranging my desks in a circle so that we could be a family, wiping down and cleaning every part of that classroom, and putting my papers for after break in the correct piles. I turned my lights off, locked the door, and told my classroom that I would see it in a week.

Boy was I wrong.

That week turned into two weeks.

Then a month.

Two months.

The rest of the school year.

Teaching on a computer? That challenged me for sure. It challenged me to see if this was really for me. The more time I had, the more questions I started asking myself.

Is teaching for me? Is Florida for me? Who even am I? These questions have continued to run through my mind. I’ve thought and thought about all of this and I have decided…

Well, I have decided that it’s a lot of information, and it will have to be in my next blog post. 🙂 I promise it will come soon. I’m just tired and needed to get some things out.